These Hands Are Made For Tickling
by Bookdancer
Summary: Jag/Cub/Alex pranks Wolf, using Eagle. This is their punishment. This fanfic is a companion story to A New Identity. The other two companion stories to A New Identity are I Never Break My Promises and He Felt No Pain. One-Shot.
1. These Hands Are Made For Tickling

**So this is the first companion story to A New Identity that I owe you. The other two will hopefully come soon, and are I Never Break My Promises and He Felt No Pain. Also, I would really recommend that you read A New Identity before this. Not because I want you to read it, but because if you don't, this may be a bit confusing.**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like Anthony Horowitz to you? No? Exactly! I do not own Alex Rider, which is why I do not look like Anthony Horowitz. If I did look like him, I'd own Alex Rider, but I don't, and that's that.**

These Hands Are Made For Tickling

"Get back here, Jag! Aaarrgghhh! Why did you do this to me? What did I ever do to you?"

"Do you really want me to answer that question?"

"Which one?"

"The last one."

"Er, no, not really."

"That's what I thought."

"But, seriously,"

"You've never been serious, Wolf. At least, not while you're wearing clown make-up."

"Shut up! It's your fault anyway."

Fox, Snake, Lion, and Cobra watched with amusement as Wolf chased Jag all over Brecon Beacons. He had been doing it ever since he woke up to find himself covered in clown make-up. That had been two hours, thirty-seven minutes, and nineteen seconds ago. Unfortunately for Wolf, the make-up would be permanent for one week, and when you're in Brecon Beacons, aka hell, well, it wouldn't be pretty. Wolf had immediately guessed that Jag had bribed Eagle into putting the make-up on, and ran after Jag, leaving Eagle to figure out how he could survive once Wolf was done with Jag.

At the moment, Eagle's brilliant plan was that Monkey dress up like Eagle and take the punishment instead. Of course, Monkey didn't want to get beat-up, so he made a deal with Eagle. If Eagle beat Monkey at arm-wrestling ten times in-a-row, then Monkey would take Eagle's place. If Eagle hadn't completed the challenge by the time Jag's punishment was over, then Monkey wouldn't take Eagle's place. It seemed that, as stupid and kid-like the two soldiers were, they knew not to get on Wolf's bad side. Not that that stopped Eagle from helping Jag. Not to mention that Monkey was the SAS's arm-wrestling champion. He'd never been beaten more than two times in a row. So for Eagle to do so ten times was almost impossible. It was Monkey's way of insuring that he wouldn't get beaten up.

So far, Eagle had yet to beat Monkey once. He looked up at a grunt and saw that Jag had been tackled to the ground. Of course, Eagle thought sourly, Jag wouldn't get punched, kicked, slapped, or any other form of physical abuse. Jag was Wolf's little brother. Well, not really, but it was like it. It was like that for all of K- and D- Units. Jag was currently seventeen (although his file said twenty), and had been in D-Unit and the SAS for two years.

Six months ago, they had all escaped SCORPIA, and Jag had been released from the infirmary three weeks later. Apparently, his wounds were a lot worse than they'd thought. Now, it was if nothing had ever happened. Except for one thing. They had discovered that Jag was really Cub/Alex Rider, an old MI6 operative. That meant that they knew Jag's real age. It also meant that Jag was protected a lot more than he would have been if they hadn't known.

So that was why, instead of physical abuse, Jag was being assaulted by the Tickle Monster. Yes, that's right. The units had discovered that Jag was extremely ticklish, and had a lot of fun tickling him.

"Wolf! Stop it!" Jag shrieked.

"Apologize!" Wolf told him, tickling his sides.

"Never!" Jag let out a screech and kicked out, hitting Wolf where 'it hurts the most', in Jag's words.

"Uh, is Wolf, er, _tickling_ Jag?" A voice asked the four who were just standing there. They turned around to see B-Unit. The unit included Coyote- the leader, Mouse- the medic, Buffalo- the comms specialist, and Falcon- the sharpshooter. Buffalo and D-Unit hadn't really started out with a good friendship until after they were captured, but now they were all good friends.

"Oh, yeah." Lion told them. "See, we all kind of see Jag as a younger brother, so instead of using his fists, Wolf tickles Jag to get back at him. Honestly, it has a greater effect than punching Jag would. He's really ticklish, so it works."

"Huh. I never knew Wolf would go soft." Coyote, a good friend of Wolf's even before they joined the SAS, said, staring at Wolf as he tickled Jag.

"Yeah, us neither, but I guess Jag just does that to ya." Fox said.

"Yeah, I guess so." Then they all turned their attention back to the pair.

"Just apologize, and I'll stop!" Wolf yelled at Jag.

"If you don't stop tickling, I'll never apologize!" Wolf stared at the younger man. _Man, now he's really got me in a tight spot_, Wolf thought.

"Fine!" Wolf cried, throwing his hands into the air. He got off of Jag and then helped him to his feet, eying the young man.

"I'm sorry." Jag told him.

Wolf nodded and turned towards Eagle, who had yet to beat Monkey. Eagle felt someone's gaze on him and turned around, gulping audibly when he saw who it was.

"Well, Monkey, it was nice knowing you." Eagle told his friend.

"You, too, Eagle. Good luck, it looks as if you'll need it." Monkey replied.

Then Eagle sprinted off, Wolf following behind.

The units watched the two for a little while before Coyote turned to Fox.

"Here," Coyote told him, "I took this while Wolf was tickling Jag. Thought you might want to keep it."

Then Coyote handed Fox a picture. K- and D-Units were both in it, and Coyote had been careful to get Wolf's new career obvious to anybody who looked at the photo.

"Thanks, Coyote." Fox said, "I really appreciate this."

"No problem. We all know how hard it is to get moments like this into an actual photo."

Then B-Unit, D-Unit, and half of K-Unit watched Wolf chase Eagle, finally pinning the desperate man to the ground before starting Eagle's torture session.

**I am not proud of this ending, at all. But I guess there's nothing I can really do about it. Also, who can guess where I got this idea? Hint: it's in A New Identity. Review!**


	2. AN: Companion Stories

**Dear readers,**

**I am happy to inform you that all companion stories have now been published. They are These Hands Are Made For Tickling, I Never Break My Promises, and He Felt No Pain.**

**Happy reading,**

**Bookdancer**


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